Thursday, July 24, 2014

Dream self interpretation #1

I woke up this morning singing 321 contact, the theme song from a pbs show from my childhood. I couldn't remember the dream other than thinking Lavar burton was the host, which upon waking realized he wasn't.
When I started interpreting it, the only connection I remember was an article about burton raising the most money ever on kick starter for his cancelled reading rainbow show. I also read an article week before about all the people who gave money to the kick starter didn't realize that the show wasn't going back on TV but would rather be a paid subscription. I also remember an interview that seemed like a decade before about what I remember as a celebrity, maybe Brian Williams saying that lavar burton was at a celebrity event trying in vain to raise Money for reading rainbow but Brian Williams saw the futility because reading rainbow didn't have any characters like sesame street that they could sell. My only association of 321 contact was that I remember being depressed while watching it

So I put the associations together and came up with themes of fighting for an impossible cause, as well as regretting investing in a cause I should have known was foolhardy and lastly the old never ending feeling of childhood depression.

When I think about the processes that are going on in my personal life, what came up was my anxiety ( a very old, never ending problem from childhood) and embarrassment (should have known feeling) about needing to fix my car after crashing it. The impossible cause I am fighting for felt like my inability to finish anything I start. I may talk a big game and get tell people about it (like Lavar) but when it comes down to it, I won't follow through on what people expect of me (like not realizing they will have to pay for reading rainbow)

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