Review of the post about goals I just wrote from 3 different parts of my personality

Jeremy: Thankful for taking the risk, acting like an adult even before I feel it, but not thinking it is a good idea that the plan is no different than other plans
Ryan: I am always idealistic, but I really don't want it to fail and I would have to be the one to suffer through all the pain of shame and hopelessness that leads to being tired and depressed
Derrick: Don't like Jeremy's idea of acting before it is authentic, but I do like the idea of bringing out more of my personality with being personable.  I remember when we were personable all the time.  It was great.
Jeremy: I don't think we should listen too much to Derrick.  We have a real job now with lots of people counting on us, and Derrick always gets us in trouble.
Ryan: Yeah, there is a part of me that thinks it is time to grow up and I think looking more like Jeremy would be a good step
Derrick:  I think Jeremy isn't very funny
Jeremy: The world is way too serious to worry about being funny all the time.  This isn't a joke
Derrick: The world is way too serious.  That is why we need to be funny.  To teach it a lesson.  A funny lesson

Goals

For years I have avoided goals, as it often does two things to me when I have a lot of personal goals.
1. I keep it up for a while, putting a lot of work into it, then can't keep it up and fall apart into a mass of depression and hopelessness
2. I feel like I am so far from who I was or who I need to be that it is hopeless to start

Now I am ready to try again, with no reassurance that anything will be different.  Also I have my baby coming in 2 weeks and I hear "It changes everything" which sounds great to me.

Goals
1. Become more personable.  I like that word, and I like the mental picture I get when I focus on that word
2. Exercise regularly
3. Have a much more stable schedule for my evening hours.  Exercise at 19:00 while watching television, watch a short show with super stace at 20:00.  Be in Bed by 21:00 and read till I fall asleep
4. Adapt and survive the first few months of Hurricane Soletta.

Today at work

1. Had a terrible headache
2. Still met with staff, solved small problems from over night
3. Took Pain reliever, drank black tea and water to limit headache
4. Met with OT who said a patient might not need to go to the state hospital
5. Talked to Transition Coordinator to see if the outpatient team could handle her in community
6. Talked to the clinician to make the actual decision
7. Talked to the defense lawyer about stopping our petition for the state hospital
8. Went with Lawyer to tell the patient who was very happy
9. Head still hurt
10. Read all the charting from Yesterday
11. Checked in with staff, including making sure intern and new staff were up to date
12. Lead the most painful staffing I have ever done in only 55 minutes!
13. Made sure everything in staffing was carried out
14. Went home sick without lunch

Three things that made me happy today 10/2

Derrick:  Super and I made pumpkin cookies
Jeremy: Great day at work, interviewed two more people
Ryan: Good Chat with my boss and friend, dreaming for the future

Goals for my personalities for the rest of the year

I have realized that not only do I need more balance between my personalities, I need more maturity from them as well.
Derrick needs to point his aggressiveness away from individuals and towards systems. Time with Addie would help him well
Ryan needs to move his idealism from anxiety and expectation to opportunity. He needs to spend time with Bear Hawk
Jeremy needs to move his love of educating from having to be an expert to being incredibly curious. I think I need him to spend time with my transitional object, pooh bear

Happiness 10/1

Derrick: Soletta's Birth month!
Jeremy: Excellent progress at work, including new employee's starting tomorrow
Ryan: Finally Chose a middle name for Soletta

Library for my soul today

Treatment planning with patient

 

Dear Jeremy or guy that barely listens! I did not come in here on Drugs! and I will not leave on Drugs!

30-something year old male who came in for Spice-induced psychosis.  He left without drugs, legal or otherwise.  

Patient Poetry

If I could eagle away the pain I would but the stresses of distance aren't sounding the way they should
E breath the through the shackles of our own decite took break away our silent fears
I break Up to gas down cause I know myself how easily i could destroy the sweat serenade
The least of which I could shapes feeling into a deadly dance in the concrete jungle by which we laugh and cry and dance and sigh
A life of love is still little else but a dance with yourself for of course e could live with the coldest breathes we may pertain to


22 year old man who came in for drug induced psychosis

Difficult things I did, 10/1

Derrick: Staying at work and not taking a nap

Ryan: Exercising when I was tired

Jeremy: Recommending the applicant I want for another unit

 “Life is difficult. This is a great truth, one of the greatest truths. It is a great truth because once we truly see this truth, we transcend it. Once we truly know that life is difficult-once we truly understand and accept it-then life is no longer difficult. Because once it is accepted, the fact that life is difficult no longer matters.” ― M. Scott Peck